This is a session between Clarice the beagle and the Emacs psychiatrist.

EP: I am the psychotherapist. Please, describe your problems. Each time you are finished talking, type RET twice.

CB: Hi, I am Clarice, the crazy beagle!

EP: How do you do? What brings you to see me?

CB: Well, I find myself not entirely comfortable with my new surroundings. My family is weird. They coddle this blind basset hound, and do not give me the attention that I crave.

EP: Can you elaborate on that?

CB: I thought I just did! I enjoy drinking water, but then I also enjoy urinating on the floor! However, my family does not enjoy cleaning up.

EP: Is it because your family does not enjoy cleaning up that you came to me?

CB: Well, I would like to be accepted by my family, but at the same time, I would like to remain true to the canine instincts that have gotten me this far.

EP: Why do you say you might want to be accepted?

CB: I feel it will gain me more respect in my family, and more belly rubs.

EP: Tell me something about your family.

CB: Well, there's Seth, my Dad, and Meg, my Mom. There's O'Malley, my blind brother. There are also some little pipsqueak rodents in the second bedroom whom I would like to shred.

EP: How does it feel to want?

CB: My life is all about wanting.

EP: What makes you believe your life is all about wanting?

CB: Instincts, man.

EP: Earlier you said your family does not enjoy cleaning up?

CB: Yes. They do not enjoy the smell of urine-soaked rags, and they blame it on me.

EP: Maybe your plans have something to do with this.

CB: Maybe you ought to mind your own business!

EP: Is it because of your life that you say maybe I ought to mind my own business?

CB: It's because I find your patronizing thoughts disconcerting.

EP: Does it bother you that you find my patronizing thoughts disconcerting?

CB: It bothers me that you patronize me, you iron-clad contraption of bolts!

EP: When did you first know that I patronize you me iron clad contraption of bolts?

CB: What, me fail English? That's unpossible!

EP: You mentioned that you would like to be accepted?

CB: I go now.

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